Resources for Healthy ManMaking

Dennis mentors two Journeymen
Resource Section Links:

Organizations Supporting Men Issues

Organizations Supporting Mentoring

Organizations Supporting Boy Issues

Books On Boy Culture in America

ManMaking: Books on Mentoring and Rites of Passage

Also Read...

Other Films Of Interest

Organizations Supporting Men Issues

The Resource Center for Fathers and Families
RCFF provides programs designed to enhance the role of fathers in full parenthood and full partnership in parenting their children. Information, education and resources focused on positive parenting.

Dads Make a Difference
Promoting the positive involvement of fathers and educating middle school-age youth, older teens, young adults, and the teachers and other professionals who work with them about responsible parenting.

Minnesota Network of Fathers and Families
Building the profession of fatherhood practitioners and other family support service providers, increasing public awareness of fatherhood involvement, and strengthening Minnesota’s families through the increased involvement of fathers in the lives of children.

Twin Cities Men's Center
A regional men's resource center and clearinghouse also providing support groups, workshops, conferences and anger management classes. For men seeking to grow in body, mind and spirit, and from that foundation advocates for healthier family and community relationships.

The ManKind Project
The ManKind Project® offers trainings which support men in developing lives of integrity, accountability, and authentic connection to feeling. MKP's trainings challenge men to develop their abilities as leaders, partners, fathers, and elders in order to offer their deepest gifts in service to the world.

Organizations Supporting Mentoring

Craig McClain, Co-founder of Boys to Men

Kinship of Greater Minneapolis
Helps children ages 5-15, in need of additional support, to realize their God-given potential through adult friendships. Kinship also provides a unique service opportunity for individuals, couples and families to put their faith into action on behalf of children.

Bolder Options
Matches at-risk youth, ages 10-14, with adult mentors in the community. Together, the mentors & youth train for and compete either three 5K races or three 20-30 mile bike rides, as well as work on academic goals and attend community events.

Big Brothers, Big Sisters
The oldest, largest and most effective youth mentoring organization in the United States and the leader in one-to-one youth service for more than a century, developing positive relationships that have a direct and lasting impact on the lives of young people. Big Brothers Big Sisters mentors children, ages 6 through 18, in communities across the country. The Big Brothers Big Sisters Mission is to help children reach their potential through professionally supported, one-to-one relationships with mentors that have a measurable impact on youth.

The National Mentoring Partnership
For more than a decade, MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership has been working to expand the world of quality mentoring. MENTOR believes that, with the help and guidance of an adult mentor, each child can discover how to unlock and achieve his or her potential. MENTOR is widely acknowledged as the nation's premier advocate and resource for the expansion of mentoring initiatives nationwide.

Mentoring Partnership of Minnesota
Serves as the driving force in the mentoring movement; bringing together diverse individuals and organizations to connect caring adults with a generation of kids in mentoring relationships.  Our commitment to youth is to make mentoring more mainstream in Minnesota.

Organizations Supporting Boy Issues

Scouting still reaches more boys than any other program

The Boys to Men Mentoring Network
Boys To Men has created a unique and safe place where boys between the ages of 12 and 16 can regularly interact with committed, conscientious adult men. With the understanding that inside each boy is a "man of honor," BTM helps these boys discover their own individual strengths, talents and gifts. Armed with this information, these boys can then develop positive life skills and goals that can be expressed in their lives and shared within their community.

The Boys Project
Helping boys become successful men; to increase academic skills, to increase college success, and to develop the confidence, drive, and determination to contribute to American society.

Boys to Men Mentoring Network Minnesota
The Boys to Men Mentoring Network Minnesota provides boys and men a way to create adult lives of service to themselves, their families, and their communities. We do this through mentoring, activities, and adventure passage weekends.

Boys Scouts of America
The National Council of the Boy Scouts of America supports more than 300 local councils that provide quality youth programs, including Cub Scouting, Boy Scouting, and Venturing.

Urban Boat Builders
Urban Boat Builders (UBB) is an example of an organizations supporting mentoring through crafts. As a youth service agency UBB uses wooden boatbuilding as a means to support positive youth development, academic achievement, and the development of a variety of hard and soft skills that help young people find and keep jobs. For young people in schools, after school, and in correctional settings.

Books On Boy Culture in America

"If you do not initiate the boys, they will burn the village down."
- Ancient African Proverb

From Boys to Men by Bret Stephenson, Parker Street Press, 2006.
"From Boys to Men is a crucial read for parents, teachers, grandparents, and everyone who makes policies about young men. Stephenson is masterful in his presentation of how to help boys "slay the dragon" and thus find a contributive, healthy and successful manhood. I highly recommend this book!"
- Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys

On the Culture of Raising Children by Urie Bronfenbrenner, Syracuse Post-Standard, 1996.
“We’ve got all kinds of forces that are interfering and blocking the process of civilizing human beings and making them competent and responsible”

The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Abesentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children
by Robert Shaw, M.D., Harper-Collins, 2003.
“What do all these things have in common? They are signs that our society has become toxic to children.”

Seven Sources of Shame" from Men Healing Shame; An Anthology
by Roy Schenk & John Everingham, Springer Publishing, 1995.
An essay on the internalization of shame: “Suppose that one hasn’t ever experienced the normal vulnerability of being with another human being (who) haven’t experienced being psychically open in the presence of another person…The only vulnerability they know is the vulnerability of being shamed.”…To sum up maintained shame, or internalized shame, we could say that at a certain pint, we don’t need other people to shame us; we can do it ourselves.”

Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
by Dr. David Walsh, Free Press, 2004.
“The average teenage boy in the United states, school age, spends an average of 44 hours a week in front of some kind of screen; T.V, computer or video game…The average school age boy in the United States spends just 1 hour a week in face to face alone time with his father.”

Real Boy’s Voices
by William S. Pollack, Random House, 2000.
“The most resounding message I hear is just how alone and disconnected these boys are and how pressured they feel to keep their true feelings secret, to hide huge parts of themselves from peers and family.”

Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them
by James Garbarino, First Anchor, 2000.
“We need to go deeper into the special character of depression as it develops and affects boys; in particular, we need to understand its links to anger.”

When Society Becomes an Addict
by Anne Wilson Schaef, Harper San Francisco, 1987.
The symptons associated with relationship addiction provide telling insights into why we have a dysfunctional society many of whose members are addicted to substances and processes.

Choice Theory
by William Glasser M.D., Harper Collins, 2000.
“The seeds of almost all our unhappiness are planted early in our lives when we begin to encounter people who have discovered not only what is right for them—but also, unfortunately, what is right for us.”

Raising Non-violent Children in a Violent World
by Michael Obsatz, Augsburg Fortress, 1999.
Identifies twenty-one skills that parents and children can learn together for self-protection and for relating to others in loving ways. Each short chapter includes advice for parents, a word to children, and a variety of interactive activities by which families can practice these important skills and learn to live as peacemakers.

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
by Daniel J. Kindlon & Michael Thompson, Ballantine Books, 2000.
A look at a cross section of American boys at various emotional and functionality levels, and a study of the people plus processes that help them become full men. See film entry.

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
by William Pollack, Owl Books, 1999.
Based on Pollack's groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School and elsewhere over two decades, Real Boys explores this generation's "silent crisis"; why so many boys are sad, lonely, and confused although they may appear tough, cheerful, and confident.

ManMaking: Books on Mentoring and Rites of Passage

If you do not initiate the boys, they will burn the village down.” - Ancient African proverb

Michael Gurian, author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Boys

Man Making; Men Helping Boys on their Journey to Manhood
Earl Hipp, Human Resource Development, 2006.
“Ancient lessons required for the survival of their community were unfolded before the boys. They were required to learn masculine skills, men’s language, and the responsibilities that define a man. The men took this sacred work very seriously. They knew they were shaping the future of their tribe. If the boys did not make this crossing into manhood successfully, their world would end.”
and ManMaking Blog

Iron John
by Robert Bly, Addison-Wesley, 1991.
This marvelous folktale of resonant, many-layered meanings is an apt choice for demonstrating the need for men to learn from other men how to honor and reimagine the positive image of their masculinity.

The Sibling Society
by Robert Bly, Addison-Wesley, 1996.
Names ours as a culture without adequate rites of passage; where adults remain children and where children do not wish to become adults.

Kids are Worth it
by Barbara Coloroso, Collins (revised edition), 2002.
This philosophy of parenting supports the idea that using a combination of compassion and respect when disciplining a child will teach limits without damaging the child's or the parent's self-esteem.

Just because it’s not wrong doesn’t make it right.
by Barbara Coloroso, Viking Canada, 2005.
"If we are to raise kids who can think and act ethically, we don’t begin with the thinking or the acting. We begin with caring."

The Minds of Boys: Saving our Sons From Falling Behind in School and Life
by Michael Gurian, Jossey Bass, 2005.
“People are waking up to the fact that everyone knows a boy who is struggling.”

The Wonder of Boys
by Michael Gurian, Tarcher, 2000.
In discussing boy culture—and the roles of competition, aggression, and physical risk taking—the author concludes, "It's not boy culture that's inherently flawed; it's the way we manage it."

A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men
by Michael Gurian, Tarcher, 1999.
"We do not understand adolescent-male development, and therefore are unable to give our adolescent males the kind of love they need to become fully responsible, loving, and wise men."

The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men
by Michael Gurian, Tarcher, 2000.
Citing an "increase in ethical numbness, moral distraction, and spiritual emptiness among boys and young men," Gurian examines the roots of potential problems such as the abandonment of our children's moral development to "potentially toxic" visual media and then lays out a well-organized blueprint for ushering boys into adulthood.

Boys and Girls Learn Differently!: A Guide for Teachers and Parents
by Michael Gurian, Jossey-Bass, 2002.
A focus on boys, contending that they are more difficult to teach and have more learning and discipline problems. The female brain, Gurian says, has a "learning advantage" because it is more complex and active, although the male brain does excel at abstract thinking and spatial relations, one reason why boys do better in math.

Men and the Water of Life: Initiation and the Tempering of Men
by Michael Meade, Harper San Francisco, 1993.
Multicultural stories that encourages young men to find initiatory experiences in their lives and community.

Top 20 Teens
by Paul Bernabei; Tom Cody; Mary Cole; Michael Cole; Willow Sweeney, Top 20 Press, 2003.
An informed and informative introduction to an effective approach for teenagers to create satisfying, successful, creative lives for themselves. Guiding readers through an in-depth study of such issues as retaining positive relationships between friends and family members, good health, and doing well in school (with the inclusion of extracurricular activities), Top 20 Teens is an engaging interpretation of adolescent emotional progression, growth, development, and living out the ideals of adulthood while making a difference with their peers.

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette, Harper San Francisco, 1991.
Corporate "yes men," wife-beaters, hot-shot male junior executives and emotionally distant fathers are all boys pretending to be men, embodying symptoms all around us—in men's abusive behaviors, passivity and inability to act creatively. Four archetypes of masculine energies from myth and literature are presented as the foundation of male psychology: the King, the Warrior, the Lover, and the Magician.

Also Read...

Dr. Barbara Coloroso, author of Kids are Worth It

The New Male by Herb Goldberg

The Hazards of Being Male by Herb Goldberg

Knights Without Armor by Aaron Kipnis

Lost Boys by James Barbarino

I Don't Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real

Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw

Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen

Stopping the Violence by Dave Decker

Other Films Of Interest

Raising Cain - 2006 - based on the book by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, American boys have many factors that play a role in ensuring that they develop mentally and emotionally well. Building a foundation within young boys with these factors in mind will make for boys who grow into better, more exquisite men who will play a better role in society.

Boys to Men - 2001 - A Collection of short films entitled "Crush", "The Mountain King", "The Confession".

Hoop Dreams - 1994 - A film following the lives of two African-American boys who struggle to become college basketball players on the road to going professional.

That's Enough - 2004 - a 20-minute film about the relationship between youth bullying and school shootings, including an 8-minute commentary. Mike Obsatz and Jack Revheim.